I took two months off of editing my new movie, I AM THAT, so that I could travel. It was an intentional strategy to edit the fine cut and then take time away. I do that when I write a script. Its one of the most helpful strategies I have in my tool box. When I take time away from a project I always have a new perspective when I come back. This time being away was a little different simply because I feel like a completely different person then who I was two months ago before I left for my trip.
I traveled to India to study Yoga and I’m not sure what happened but something really significant clicked for me on this trip about my yoga practice and myself. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. For the first time I felt total confidence in myself. I even had a wild moment while I was practicing where it felt like deep inside of me a voice said, “You can do everything you want.” But not in a way that’s still completely full of doubt (I’ve had those before) but in this way where I felt let in on a secret of my life and this secret seemed so true that I actually became afraid. I became afraid because it was too much for me to handle at one time. It was too much work. It was as if I saw the rest of my life and it was what I wanted, what I’ve been tirelessly working for the past 15 years. It was bizarre how complete the internal thought was. It included my own artistic truths and even my partner’s legacy that I’m working towards.
Back to today and me editing with the editor. The major thing I viewed was a lack of confidence in the story. The person(s) who had edited this movie two months ago were scared and weren’t trusting the moments and the journey of the protagonist. A couple of days ago I recently watched P.T Anderson’s, Magnolia, and its amazing how as a storyteller he is so confident in the writing. He’s so confident that he will sit with a character in a slow push in while their having an emotional breakdown. He trusts his moments. This has been one of my major storyteller problems. I don’t trust the moments and as a result the story feels rushed. But I’m finally seeing it in I AM THAT. I feel positive that if I hadn’t taken the time off then I wouldn’t be able to see this mistrust.
I have to trust the story. That’s what I took away from today.